You Can't Say You Can't Play

When I first started reading this book, I admit that I just wanted to read it quickly and get it over with, but it was a very good story and pretty easy to read and understand. I thought about some of my own experiences in the residency thus far and I realized that during my observations, I focused a lot on the academic side of the classroom and not so much the social aspect of it. I had to really think back to what I have seen so far. It is interesting because in my first placement, the 3^rd grade classroom that I was in only had 10 students. In my time there, I did not see any of the exclusion that is normally found in classrooms. Maybe the size of the class had something to do with it. All of the students played together, although sometimes the 2 boys in the class tended to group with each other more. But as a whole, there was really no exclusion. My Pre-K placement was a whole other story. It was actually pretty common to hear one of the kids saying, "Well, he/she said that she wasn't my friend!" or "He/she said I couldn't play over here!" In one case, I actually saw one of the kids leave a station because the teacher said that everybody could play in the area and then he did not want to play at all. She told him that that was not right and that we were all friends and could all play together, but at the age of 3, I wonder if he really understood exactly what she was saying. 

I am definitely all for everybody getting along and playing together, especially after my own experiences as a child. When I moved in 6^th grade and attended another school, I did tend to be excluded at first since I was the “new girl” and I completely hated it. I always used to get scolded and the “Golden Rule” was a big thing in our house: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Once I began to be excluded, I realized how other students may have felt when I was younger and I hated it. But as much as I agree with Paley on the concept, part of me does not think that that is feasible and it is very idealistic. In theory, it works, but when it comes to putting that into practice, I am still on the fence about that one. To me, it seems a little counterproductive to tell kids that they have to get along with and play with everybody because the real world does not operate in that way, just like that 4^th grade boy told Paley during the discussion. I don't know. I am all for inclusion and treating everybody equally, but I am still not sure about how I feel about forcing kids to play together, especially as they get older.

I LOVED the way that Paley discussed the plan with not only her students, but with students and teachers from other grades as well. That is the number one thing that I am going to take from this book and incorporate into my own classroom. It was very democratic and the students had their own voice. Even if she did not agree with all of their ideas, particularly Lisa, she still let them voice what they were thinking. Not only that, after each discussion with students from other grades, she brought the ideas back to her classroom and asked her students what they thought about what was said. Even in kindergarten, she valued their opinions and voices. She also taught them about rejection. They were able to put actions and events with a word/concept that they might not have known until later grades. I am pretty sure that that is a year they will not forget. 

You Cant Say You Cant Play

You Cant Say You Cant Play

Charging through You Cant Say You Cant Play, I was able to connect Paley’s practices to multiple personal life experiences, and classroom learning experiences as well. Paley hits on several completely standalone important topics pertaining to the growth of an individual, not only academically, but internally as well…rejection, exclusion, democracy, speaking up for ourselves, and communication.

Much of what I read throughout the book heavily coincided with our Disabilities module. The whole notion of exclusion in the classroom was challenged throughout the story, both in Magpies travels and directly in classroom discussion. Employing a Social Model perspective, Paley believed that it shouldn’t be the responsibility of the individual “outcast” to change, but the responsibility of the entire group. “The group miust change its attitudes and expectation towards those who, for whatever reason, are not yet part of the system” (pg33). This was done through exposure of the topic of exclusion during story time, and encouraging the students to think about and address what exclusion really is, and why it happens. I was also able to make connections to our current Child Development class. On page 61, the children are discussing whether or not it is right to exclude someone based on sex or gender, giving the reasoning that boys and girls like different things. This directly correlates with the topic of gender bias that we were recently discussing in class, which points to the fact that at a very young age, children already have a very good idea of what is appropriate for boys and what is appropriate for girls.

I will use several strategies from Paley’s book in my classroom. Paley allowed her students to critically evaluate social problems, and democratically discuss what their thoughts were. This should be implemented in all levels of learning in education. On page 41, Paley has summarized the children’s reasons that the rule may not work. By doing so, she has not only validated their thoughts, but she has helped them formulate a concrete stance on something they were passionate about. I like the fact that Paley allowed for children to recognize and rectify their own mistakes before they were penalized for them. “ If you hit once it could be a mistake or an accident, but if you hit again, you have to leave the game” (pg. 82).

What struck me most about this piece was not so much the rule that Paley prescribed for her classroom, but the manner in which the development and implementation of the rule panned out. Often times, we forget the power of Young children to amaze us with their wisdom, insight, and intelligence. Paley allowed for her students to engage in a process that would ultimately decide their fate for the next few months of their lives, which for children, is a pretty big deal. Not only was she able to create independence and a sense of pride for her students, but she was able to equip them with a few of the problem solving skills that they wil need to be compassionate, understanding and democratic “bosses” in the future.

You Can't Say You Can't Play Reflections

1. How can you connect the book to other learning experiences you have had or are having in the residency?

There are several experiences I've had in my various placements so far in the program that I can relate to the book. At Ridge Street, where I observed a 4th grade bilingual education classroom, I witnessed powerful forms of exclusion. At lunch time, it was not uncommon for the students, particularly the males, to either skip or rush through lunch so they could head outside to the blacktop and play basketball. Outdoor sports create their own sets of hierarchies that are not dominated so much by "bosses," as with Paley's class, but by those whose dominance is asserted and respected via physical aptitude. Those who are perceived or perceive themselves as not being as good at basketball as their peers learn quickly and forcefully that they will not be welcome or comfortable trying to play with those who are better players.

The gender exclusion is the most powerful divider. With one exception, girls were always excluded from playing basketball. The one girl whom I witnessed shooting around was playing a less formal version of basketball with several (about two or three) other boys who had also been excluded from the main group and who were all shorter than she was. This group was an example of an "outcast" group of rebels who played on their own and actually had a lot of fun, but they were all very clearly aware that they would not be allowed to play with the main group.

Similarly, among the main group of boys who gathered around what was considered the "main" basketball game, the one with the most clearly rigid rules and hierarchies, there were "in's" and "out's." The outs always stood on the sidelines and watched, and if any ever tried to play they were told to "go find their own game" (even though there was only one hoop). Those who were relegated to the sidelines were those whose skills were not considered by the more skilled boys to be "respected" enough to even be allowed onto the court.

In my Pre-K placement at Sarah Ward, I saw the practice of "cliques" exercised regularly. Students in my classroom, especially the girls, had favorite play buddies or groups of three or four. Because a natural feature of the Creative Curriculum is stations that are by their nature limited in size, limits on the number of students who can be in any one area at a given time are also a natural feature of classrooms that employ stations in this manner. This natural need to limit groups, coupled with the tendency of the students to organize into cliques, was a troubling feature of the room; although it did provide for strong friendship bonds, it also created a class of students who were frequently "out's."

Embedded in all these experiences are two trends: natural social development of children, which I find to be normal, and the creation of a class of students who from an early age will always be the "out" group, which may be normal but is not contributory to the healthy development of children. Paley addresses both concepts in the book, but her emphasis is more on the aspects of play that can bridge the divide between these two classes. The two examples above, particularly the former, create specific challenges that I am not certain Paley's philosophy can handle.

2. How does Paley's educational ideology support or challenge your own?

In the broadest sense, Paley's intention is to foster an atmosphere of inclusion in her classroom. Because her classroom is presumably one of mostly or all typically developing children, there is no exclusion created or noted based on disability characteristics. Thus, Paley does not deal directly with the notion of integration of students with autism or other physical or learning disabilities into her classroom and the additional challenges that come with that.

However, the philosophy that she creates in her room- that there is no legitimate reason for exclusion in most circumstances- would be relevant in an inclusion classroom. Further, it is the attitude behind inclusive education itself. The attitudinal change that Paley recognizes is necessary is essential to an inclusive philosophy of education: it is the main group that must reform its attitudes of exclusion more than the excluded individuals and pockets must learn to adapt and become more accepted by the main group (33). Further, I also agree with Paley that setting these rules early on in life helps provide a model for future behavior (110).

On the other hand, Paley's idealistic vision of the fully inclusive play setting in her classroom is a bit too idealistic. It ignores or understates some significant challenges. While I do not think these challenges are insurmountable, I think they do challenge her philosophy a bit more strongly than she indicates occurred in her own classroom. An important issue that isn't thoroughly addressed is that of of the "game spoilers," those who enter into a play setting with the intention of causing disruption to the normal game or scenario (61). A good example of this would be the student whom the others have excluded from the block area in a pre-K setting because (s)he always tends to knock down or destroy whatever is being built. There is an inherent tension between that student's desire to deconstruct and the main group's wish to continue construction. While there are nuanced and delicate ways of handling a situation like this, particularly by examining the causes behind the destructive student's actions, some students may just always want to demolish, which makes including them in the task of building difficult.

Another philosophical challenge, perhaps the strongest in the book, comes from Lisa. Lisa not only wants to exclude, but it becomes clear to Paley that Lisa is at times far less concerned with who gets excluded than she is with being able to control who gets excluded. In dealing with Lisa, Paley is almost trying to unnaturally remove the quality of leadership from Lisa. By setting rules that are in opposition to Lisa's clear desire to control situations, Paley is missing the opportunity to help Lisa redirect her leadership impulses in a way that helps her use her strengths in a positive social way. One must be careful in creating an "equal" atmosphere that one does not make industriousness and leadership outmoded in children. Those very same qualities can be quite positive if fostered correctly. I saw a lot of Paley's interactions with Lisa to be interpreted as struggles for power rather than as a teacher learning to adapt to strengthen a student's underdeveloped leadership skills.

The last challenge I saw with Paley's philosophy was that at the end of the book, she seems to disregard the importance of the class participation in the creation of the rule to begin with. One of the things that gave the rule any amount of true legitimacy to the students was that they talked about it, debated it, and eventually (grudgingly sometimes) agreed upon it. Paley decides she will implement the rule from the first day of each of her future classes, robbing those future classes of the social experiment of recognizing the problem, discussing it maturely and democratically, and coming to the decision to honor the rule of their own accord. The rule as it is originally featured is a kind of social contract among the students; by implementing it as a given in future classes, she is enforcing a contract they never necessarily signed onto, de-legitimizing it and making future enforcement problematic (129).

3. What ideas from the book are you interested in incorporating in to your classroom?

I'm most interested in incorporating participatory democracy in my classrooms more than any other practice from the book. Recognizing challenges to social development or cohesion within the class and allowing those issues to be brought forth for public discussion among my students will be a featured element of the class. I think that the process is far more important than the outcome. There are other ways to build class unity and get students to accept one another than by forced inclusion; however, there is no better way to make a student feel like his or her opinion matters than to actually give him or her a say on every significant issue in the class.

I'm mulling over whether I would implement a rule like "You Can't Say You Can't Play" because I find that there would be situations that are exceptional that this rule would have difficulty handling. However, I do not discount its value and am still considering whether I would implement it. As stated above, I may well let each class decide each year how it wishes to address the issue of exclusion during play. With each iteration, I'll probably gain new ideas from my students about different ways to handle it.

I also think the idea of constructing a class story is pretty cool. I don't think I will take such an active role in the story as Paley did, but there is plenty of room for any teacher to adopt her story-telling technique to his or her classroom. Her story reminds me of Story Judy at the Ben Samuels Center at MSU: it has a great deal of intention and helps her process and manage the frustrations she realized were bubbling beneath her own exterior.

The story also served a cathartic function for Paley, which is something I will keep in mind. I think that having an outlet like that is important, which is why I hope to continue using music as my outlet for catharsis on a weekly basis. As Paley uses story, I hope to incorporate musical elements into my classroom routines for daily procedures and long-term projects.

1. How can you connect the book to other learning experiences you have had or are having in the NMUTRP?
     During our residencies, I have witnessed numerous instances of the You Can't Play invective being implemented in varying degrees; from the Oh so subtle "...we already have five players..,"  to the vehemently outspoken, "GET OUTTA HERE, YOU AFRICAN..." However, the enactment of this hurtful concept was never more profound (nor successfully addressed) than in the 4th/5th grade LDS (learning disabled severe) class that I was privy to observe at McKinley Elementary School.  A student, to whom I will refer as "R", was born in Guinea, West Africa, and immigrated with her family to the United States three years ago. She informed me that since her arrival, she had been teased and tormented, relentlessly, about being from Africa, and ommitted from most shared experiences in and out of the classsroom. Ironically, the main source of her humiliation stemmed from remarks spewed by a fellow student, (who I will refer to a "A", who is named after a past, and still existing, glorious, African Kingdom.) I brought this matter to the attention of the teacher, who stated that she had addressed this problem, previously, and thought it had been resolved.  I asked if I could help and was informed that any assistance I could provide would be welcomed.
     For my read aloud, I intentionally selected, "Rap-A-Tap Tap, Here's Bojangles, Think Of That!"; a book  that addresses discrimination, empathy and compassion through the lens of interracial couple, Leo and Diane Dillon. The Dillons, who wrote and illustrated the book, use the life of Bill "Bojangles" Robinson, one of the most famous and prolific tap dancers of all time, to address these relevant topics. While reading the book aloud, I was able to engage the children in colorful dialogue about exclusion, and how it feels.  Additionally, it gave ample opportunity to infuse the history of dance, music and musical instruments and the impact that Africans and African-Americans have had on these subjects. The students were able to conclude that if not for Africa and Africans, there would be no Michael Jackson, Beyonce', Shakira, Chris Brown, Jennifer Lopez, etc. "R's" face became wondrously illuminated during the read aloud and subsequent discussions. In lieu of being an object of ridicule, she became a welcomed and interesting addition to the class. And, believe it or not, "A", actually, asked, "Ms. Ashe, the next time you go to Africa, could you take me?"  Although race is only one element people inject as a means to exclude others, it maintains extremely powerful meaning in the lives of those to whom the exclusion is directed.  "...No, they are not different. What makes them outsiders is simply that they are treated as outsiders...." (pg 68).

2. How does Paley's ideology support or challenge my own?
       I believe that the philosophy "you can't say, you can't play" is a viable concept that should be implemented as early in the developmental process of children as possible. Utilizing storytelling and characters, (such as the the Magpie, Bill Bojangles, Dora the Explorer, etc.) to raise the questionableness of hurting someone's feelings by not allowing their participation in play or learning activities, will be much more effective than a teacher, authoritatively, insisting that they be included. "...The group must change its attitudes and expectations towards those who, for whatever reason,  are not yet part of the system..." (pg. 33)
      Additionally, Paley's deduction that she should not use the "timeout chair" as a means of punishment is a concept that I felt to be extremely progressive, and one that ultimately models the "you can't say, you can't play, from the teacher's standpoint.  "...thinking about unkindness always reminds me of the timeout chair. It made children sad and lonely to be removed from the group, which in turn made me feel inadequate and mean...and I am convinced, made everyone feel tentative and UNSAFE...." (pg. 95)  It has been my mantra, from the application process for the NMUTRP, to now, that "If nowhere else in the world, in my classroom, you will be safe..."

3. What ideas from the book are you interested in incorporating into your classroom?
     I feel, as does Paley, that there are some behaviors that are unacceptable, but may initially have an explanation; for instance, the "hitting policy". In Paley's class, an initial hit would be viewed as a possible mistake or error in judgment. If , however, a student hits again, he or she would have to "sit out" (pg 82) to regroup.  Also, allowing the children, themselves, to have viable input into decision making seems to be an advantageous strategy.

YCSYCP. Hmmmmmm...

1. How can you connect the book to other learning experiences you have had or are having in the residency?

It is difficult to directly connect YCSYCP to any specific experiences.  In my Gen Ed 5th grade placement, there was a student who was experiencing being bullied.  However, I did not observe this in the classroom and was not made privy to specifics.  In the Pre-K Disabled placement, the people who said "you can't play" were the teacher and aids.  This happened usually as threat of punishment or punishment.  It is a strategy that I will not use in my classroom.  In my Gen Ed Pre-K, I didn't observe any active rejection of kids.  Those kids were having more issues with learning how to share.  However, I did notice that the student who used the wheelchair was passively rejected.  The other kids would let her parallel play in their areas, but they did not often actively include her in their play.  This student would then actively seek out Deb, myself, the teacher, or an aid to play with.  Se was actually a bit more mature than the other students.  So I wonder how this impacted her play.  She was happy and did not express sadness in her interactions.  At Ben Samuels, I haven't observed much indoor Free Play where exclusion and rejection could be more easily observed.  When we go into the classrooms at 9am, the kids are going into Group Time.  

In my own educational history I remember an instance of a kid being strongly rejected.  I do not remember the teacher intervening to improve the situation.  During the first half of 1st grade, I lived on K.I. Sawyer Air Force Base in Michigan.  I went to the base school.  There was a girl in our class named "Candy".  She wore the same clothes everyday and she smelled bad.  None of the other students wanted anything to do with her at all.  The teacher must have been aware of this.  There was only one 1st grade class and there were only about 15 kids in the class.  I do not want to demonize the teacher but I don't remember any form of intervention/explanation/inclusion.  Through reading Paley, I can see how important it is to know and understand each kid so that we can intervene when needed.

2. How does Paley's educational ideology support or challenge your own?

"She (Lisa) takes for granted that there must be a child 'in charge.'  How long will it take to get rid of the notion of a boss?  The fourth grade girl who labeled herself as an 'owner' said this is where the problem lies/  Do away with the owners and the rule could work, she told everyone."  (p. 94-95)

Does that mean, "The workers must control the means of production."  Well, that didn't work out to well on a large scale.  However, if workers/kids playing have some direct input/influence over "the means of production/play" then they can become invested in shared responsibility and kindness to strangers.  "The workers must control the means of production" is authoritarian.  "The workers needs must be taken into account in the means of production.' is more authoritative.  Authoritative, as we discussed in Child Dev is good for White Middle/Upper class.

I find YCSYCP challenging.  I totally agree with the goal of inclusion.  However, the implementation is top down.  The kids have to accept it.  Sure, they can discuss it but ultimately it's Mrs. Paley's way or the highway.  It's seems authoritative but ultimately it's authoritarian.  I believe that I as a teacher can not legislate "shared responsibility" (p. 34) or "the kindness of strangers." (p. 57)  I can/will model and encourage these values.  I will make every effort to make sure my students will internalize these values.  But it must be a bottom-up implementation.  Students need to given the opportunity to chose to do the right thing. They also need to know that they are accountable for their actions.  Just as I the teacher am accountable for my actions and will need at times to intervene/defend/include individual students.  

I really liked Octavio's post.  By inserting himself literally into the play, he could monitor and intervene/defend/include individual students.  This is a great modeling strategy yet it is not authoritarian.  It's not absolutely authoritative either.  It allows for the kids who were doing the rejecting to save face and feel that their input was valued.  Their incentive is that they get to play with the teacher.  The outcome hopefully is that the rejected kid does find that one friend.

3. What ideas from the book are you interested in incorporating in to your classroom?

The strategy of the teacher scribing a story is great for Early Childhood/ Special Needs students.  In 3-5th grades I might assign pairs to act as scribes.  Taking turns writing so that the storyteller could concentrate on flow rather than the technique of writing.

You Can't Say You Can't Play: What Does the Research Say?

I have to admit that as I read through the first few chapters of You Can’t Say You Can’t Play, I was a bit befuddled. I thought to myself, Paley got a MacArthur Genius Grant for this? The Magpie story was nice, but not award-winning children’s literature. The rule, You can’t say, “You can’t play,” seemed like a classroom management technique that would be unexceptional in a classroom where children were already taught and expected to share, be kind, and take care of one another. It seemed that Paley was already the type of teacher who discussed and persuaded students to include one another in their play. Wouldn’t this rule just be a way for her to save time and debate.

Timmy:             Ms. Paley! Jimmy said I can’t play!

Ms. Paley:             Jimmy. You can’t say, “You can’t play.” Let Timmy play.

Jimmy:            OK

           

As I read on, I began to better discern the subtle genius of Paley’s approach. I was most impressed with Paley’s practice of regularly recording children’s stories. This practice would validate students who came from backgrounds that emphasized oral traditions and story telling over print text (which we learned about in Literacy) and help develop these important abilities in students who didn’t. I also began to appreciate the Magpie story more as I watched Paley involve her students in the story creation process. As they went from audience member to directors with the ability to demand a script revision, the students’ voices were validated. They were also witnessing the creative process firsthand, which I believe is critical for the development of creative confidence and efficacy.

 The true value of the Magpie story wasn’t as literature but as a safe forum through which the children could witness and explore the emotions and consequences associated with changing the rules of their classroom. Without the Magpie story and Paley’s conversations with her students about both their own feelings and the older children’s feedback, You can’t say, You can’t play” would have just been another empty platitude. It was the children’s exploration, sharing, and discussion of their own feelings about and experiences with power, fairness, and rejection that gave the “rule” meaning.  I thought it was interesting that the rule’s eventual implementation did not necessarily reduce conflict in Paley’s class. Kids still attempted to exclude one another. However when they did, the rule served as an entry point to question and debate the exclusion. It’s the process around implementing the rule not the rule itself that contributes to children’s character and social/ emotional development.

That all being said, you all know by now that I am, above all, a skeptic. Come on, doesn’t this all sound a little too easy? A little too good to be true? Does it really have an impact?  Would you really feel better about yourself if you knew kids were only playing with you because the teacher was forcing them? Wouldn’t this seem like a perfect candidate for one of those well-intentioned, seemingly great practices that ends up having the complete opposite effect (like praise)? So I looked up research on the effectiveness of implementing You Can’t Say, “You Can’t Play.” I found a few, admittedly small, studies. In comparison with control classrooms, children in classes where the rule was implemented reported liking each other significantly more at the end of the year, yet reported higher levels of social dissatisfaction.

It was a surprising, yet intriguing finding. The practice was effective in one regard, but at a cost. What do you make of it?

A Rite of Passage or Teachable Moment

You can't say, you can't play, is this  a childhood right of passage or policy that should be incorporated into elementary school classrooms across the country? As I read this moving book by Paley, I pondered this question and the notion do I as an adult and emerging educator have the right to tell my students that they must include all children in all activities.  By making this a classroom mandate am I establishing an unrealistic expectation for our children and/or am I setting students up for failure by taking their right to choose away?  In a democratic classroom aren't students supposed to have a voice in the decision making process? As I moved through the book,  this question remained in the forefront of my thoughts. As students shared their personal stories of rejection and reflecting on my own personal experiences in school, I remember being the odd girl out sometimes and/being told I could not play. I remember being hurt but I also remember being told that not everyone has to like you or want to play with you. As hurtful as these childhood experiences are, I believe they have value and can serve as a teachable moment.  As children develop into adults they will not always be the "chosen" one.  There will be times when as children and as adults they will be rejected and students need to learn how to handle rejection and not allow the rejection to be defining moment that negatively impacts the rest of their life. I believe that Paley offers a great example in the book You Can't Say, You Can't Play for teachers especially emerging educators such as myself.  The use of storytelling as a means of students opening up about the their feelings and how the would like to handle a situation served as an effective tool for discussing at his topic. As an emerging educator,  I believe it is vitally important to seek student input. By making a statement such as You can't say you can't play, provides a platform for a rich discussion on how to have hard conversations between classroom friends and how to express your feelings without being mean or harsh. This powerful book can serve as the foundation for many fruitful classroom discussions on a variety of topics.  After reading the book, I have come to the conclusion that this book is not so much about the statement "you can't say you can't play," as much as it is a book demonstrating that as an educator I must provide a safe platform for my students to discuss these types of questions and then give my students an opportunity to develop thoughtful solutions to these situations.

You Can't Say You Can't Play Reflection

Paley’s book ties directly with many of the learning experiences I have been having since the school observation placements began. Paley describes how by the time kids are in kindergarten, certain children begin controlling the social experiences of their classmates. These students decide which students are acceptable playmates, and who will be excluded. This continues on as students get older.

This idea really made me think about several things I observed in the 2^nd grade class at Fourteenth Avenue School. The children appeared to get along well in the classroom, but I noticed that there were quiet, short conversations the students were having with one another that might have been damaging. I realized that as the teacher, you are not privy to many of these exchanges between students that can be hurtful, and moments when they are rejected. When my mentor and I would pick the students up from recess, certain students would consistently come running to explain all the forms of rejection they had experienced in such a short period of time. I now understand that this phenomenon probably began in kindergarten for these students, and that the rejection will have lasting impacts. Paley’s book helped me realize that it does not have to be this way. It is possible to change the kinds of social experiences students have, but I agree with the older students Paley interviews who believe “you can’t say you can’t play” is a rule that must be established early on.

Paley’s educational ideology supports the one I have been developing during my time in the NMUTR program. Paley is completely connected with her students’ experiences because her classroom is a safe environment where students feel comfortable talking openly about how they feel. Her students have a voice in what goes on in their classroom, and Paley uses this information to align her teaching with what the students need to move forward.  

Paley’s approach to teaching is very student-centered. When she decides she wants to establish this new rule in her classroom, she spends time talking to the students about what she wants to do in the classroom and why. She is open to modifying and further unpacking her rule once she discovers that students have questions about its fairness. She constantly learns through the process of establishing “you can’t say you can’t play.” She realizes that it is more complicated than simply telling the children what they can and cannot do. She wants her students to be active participants in constructing what the rule means for their classroom.

Paley reflects often about ways to ensure that the new order she wants to establish is successful. She does not demonize children who are resistant and seemingly cruel, but is open to conversations with these children about their interpretation of things. Paley finds ways to help children understand that everyone benefits when children are not excluded. I want

my classroom to be student-centered, and for my students to take active roles in their learning. I believe children develop a sense of confidence when their views are acknowledged. Paley was successful in her pursuit because of her educational ideology. She has high expectations for her students, and trusts that they can make sense of the challenge she presents to them.

I plan on incorporating several strategies Paley uses in my classroom. First, I think the Magpie stories were a great addition to the classroom. Paley used the stories to infuse lessons, introduce concepts to children, and to represent some of the issues the class was having. Allowing students to create stories and act them out for the class is an innovative way to use literacy with young children. I think I struggle with thinking outside of the box, but I am learning that knowing who the students are, and taking their ideas into account, will inform my choices.

This story reminded me of the importance of taking chances. If you want your classroom to be a truly democratic learning community, I think it that involves trying ideas that might seem impossible or not worth trying. As Paley’s conversations with the older students in her school demonstrate, students quickly become hardened by their experiences in school. The lesson that I gleaned is that it is necessary to do all you can to shield students from inevitable pain by making your classroom one where rejection is not an option.

Sometimes you can say you can't play

How can you connect the book to other learning experiences you have had or are having in the residency?


     This whole notion of "you can't say you can't play" is one that I've been interested in for quite a while, though I never termed it as brilliantly as Paley did.  I think excluding others in play is part of the growing process.  Unfortunately some people never grow out of it.  
     I've seen instances of this exclusion at every classroom I've observed.  Most often it's been the child who was overweight, physically disabled, mentally or emotionally challenged, or otherwise socially awkward.  There is this creative mind within which a child lives that is wonderfully brilliant, yet there is a primal aspect of it that seems to sense a weakness in another child and uses it for an advantage of power.
     In the instances when I've seen this drama play out, sometimes I've been in the game, and other times I've just been a witness.  It's easier when I'm in the game, because I set the tone.  I model allowing someone to enter a game when the time is appropriate, i.e. when the round we are playing is over, or until there is an opening for another player.   So I guess it's fair to say that there are time when you can say, "you can't play right now."
     It's more difficult when I'm the witness on the side.  I've intervened and asked the excluder why a person can't play, and s/he would sometimes have a seemingly valid reason.  Sometimes the person that wanted to play would want to do so just to disrupt the game.  However, more often it was because the excluded person was different in at least one of the ways I mentioned above.  In this instance, I would go with my gut.  If it seemed reasonable, I set the rule that the child could play, and I would join the game as well to make sure it there was no fallout.  Other times, I would let the excluded kid know that sometimes people don't want to play with another person.  I acknowledged how that can be hurtful, but also I modeled how s/he could find another play friend.  
     Modeling is the key.  That is why I really like to be involved in games with kids.  I like to have fun, and often many kids want to join the game.  I can see how some kids in the game get annoyed or frustrated because now there's less attention on them, because of the disruption of flow of the game, or because of the modifications to the game that must be made for another player.  In wanting to keep things fair for players that initiated a game, and in seeking to acknowledge kids that want to be a part of the fun, there needs be be a balance.
     I've only recently begun the book, so I'm eager to see where the author goes with this concept.  For now, I'm not sure if I agree with her 100%.  I think sometimes you can say you can't play, but it shouldn't be in the way of simple exclusion.  We'll see...

Incorporating Ideas From the Book

Besides the YCSYCP rule, Paley presented some practices that I might incorporate into my own classroom. I liked the idea of reading a story to the class over multiple sessions and connecting the story to other activities in the room, liking writing down the story and having the students illustrate it, making their own book. I also liked how Paley went back and amended the story to reflect what was happening in her classroom, adding in the YCP rule.

Paley didn't simply enforce the rule, but had many conversations with the students about what YCSYCP means, how it makes them feel, welcomed their input and their suggestions. Paley treated her students like their opinions mattered and helped them sift through their feelings and ideas. She spent time talking to the students in the older grades that her class was fascinated by (1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th), and conveyed their comments and concerns to her class, allowing her students to indirectly collect research that they could then draw upon in their group conversations.

I might want to have a lesson around or somehow incorporate the students' dramatized storytelling in my classroom. Having the students work together to put on mini-productions would be fun and educational for both me and the students.

Connecting YCSTCP to Our Experiences

The first thing I thought about when I read the title of Paley's book was the many times I have been excluded from 'play', whether as a child or as an adult. The experiences and feelings the students voiced were not foreign to me, and like them, I seem to remember every time that I was left out and unwanted. I doubt there is any one who has not felt purposely isolated or rejected at one point or another, but it's amazing that even if we know how much it hurts to be rejected, we still do it to other people. We fear being the unwanted person, so we band together in our achievement of being in the 'in crowd' even if it is just for a brief time.

I've always wondered what makes a person popular. What makes them the one that gets to decided what game we play or who gets to play the game? What makes them the 'boss'? What is the special characteristic, sparkle, or draw that they have on other children/people? While Paley didn't clearly answer these questions for me, she did examine the idea/role of a 'boss' and whether one is necessary for play. It was interesting that as much power as the boss had during play to decide the rules for the game and essentially who could play the game, that the other children were essentially using the boss as a scapegoat or person to blame for the exclusivity of the game. Being the boss means you have power, but you also must accept the consequences of that power...

I remember when I was ten or eleven years old celebrating Christmas at my grandma's house with my cousin and I was told by my oldest cousin Jason that I couldn't play with everyone because my sister didn't want me to. I was upset and mad because Jason had the 'power' to let me play because he was the oldest, but chose to obey my sister's wishes. Not quite knowing how to handle the rush of emotions I was having, I waited outside the door and when he came out, punched him on the eye. The result was that he had a black eye for Christmas and I earned the nickname 'man-thang' (he is from the South). While I don't believe I reacted in the best way to the situation, my response is one that the students in our classes might have: one of anger accompanied by a physical reaction.

Today at Ben Samuels I witnessed an act of rejection that reminded me of YCSYCP. The toddlers walk down the hall of BS holding hands with a partner. One of the boys in the class was refusing to hold another boy's hand and said he wanted to be partners with his friend (who already had a partner and was halfway down the hallway) instead. The student teacher tried to talk to the boy, but he refused and pulled his hand away multiple times, insisting that he would rather hold his own hand. The ST mentioned to the student that he was not being very nice to his classmate, but didn't push the issue and let the boy walk back to the classroom without a partner. Even though walking down the hallway isn't 'play', I think Paley would of had the class talk about the situation as a group and ultimately include walking in the hallway with partners in the YCP rule.

You Can't Say You Can't Play Reflection- Due 5/29

As you read this book by Paley, it is important to reflect on how the text is impacting your learning to teach process.  And since the power in our learning is embedded in the cohort structure, we want to share our reflections and read those of others.  Please use the following  reflection prompts to post your reflection.  Remember to also comment on 4 of your peer's posts as a way to start a conversation and learn from each other.  This should be completed by Tuesday, May 29.

1. How can you connect the book to other learning experiences you have had or are having in the residency?

2. How does Paley's educational ideology support or challenge your own?

3. What ideas from the book are you interested in incorporating in to your classroom?