Reflecting on Respect

I learned from today's session with Toyin that there are a number of different ways to think about and show respect. I learned that respect may not mean the same thing to everyone, and that because of this, sometimes it may be possible to be perceived as demonstrating a lack of respect even when such is not the intention. Likewise, it may be possible that someone is faking politeness rather than showing respect and someone else may not notice. Essentially, the notion of respect can lead to perceptions among peers that are not genuine. In some cases, such as in the preservation of an atmosphere of politeness and courtesy, it is important to maintain a stable atmosphere, even if that sometimes means holding one's tongue. In other cases, staying quiet may lead to quiet resentments and undercurrents of dissent and mistrust, so it is important to find appropriate ways to work out differences of opinion and style in an open and constructive setting at appropriate times. Clearly, finding this balance is an issue that must be regarded with care in groups of diverse experiences, motivations, and opinions, but having seen it managed successfully by different combinations of us across many group projects since the beginning of this program, I am confident we are becoming much better at finding that balance as a group.

I also see better from this week's session that respect is essential to collaborative efforts. Even when respect is slowly or grudgingly given, members of groups who share common experiences come to respect one another, and that respect directly correlates to the overall health of the group and toward its positive outcomes. A big part of group success is respecting yourself and your own personal goals enough to recognize when you need to make a change ("Man in the Mirror" reference, anyone?) to help things go more smoothly for everyone. Intransigence and a myopic focus on oneself are not productive to group efforts. I mentioned in a previous session with Ms. Marcus and Dr. Wray that I am learning to be less of a "me" and more of an "us," meaning I must recognize that my focus only on my needs and interests must recede enough to make room for the collaborative goals and projects that we work on together as a Cohort. That is an issue of respecting my own role in a larger unit, and respecting the other members of that unit in a way that enables me to seek their advice and input and to respect their views and contributions.

Respect means knowing when to assert myself and trust in my feelings, but also to recognize when to recede and let others contribute with my full attention and deference. Finding the right balance of "me" and "us" in this setting is essential to our future success. These are the things I have been reflecting on since our session on Monday.