RESPECT ....What it Means to Me

RESPECT, what it means to me, the popular song by Aretha Franklin is what comes to mind every time I hear the word.  I sing the song in my head and often ask myself what does this powerful word mean to me?  Yesterday, June 11, 2012, I had the opportunity to unpack this word and reflect on my definition of respect.  During a 90 minute discussion I learned that respect is fluid, context specific, varies from culture to culture, and not easily given or earned.  For me respect begins with me acknowledging the God in a person.  I recognize and accept that we (myself included) all have our "stuff" and are unique works in progress but we are all deserving of basic respect.  

Respect is purposeful and deliberate and it is earned and not simply given. I make the conscience effort to be respectful to all people regardless of how I personally feel about a person. Being mannerable, referring to a person by their name, minimizing negative talk about a person, giving back to the community, and being mindful of people's feelings are a few of the tasks I try to make a conscience effort to complete.  Respect is living by the rule of do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Unfortunately, this is not always the reality.  Many times people do not show you the respect that you show them.  The challenge for me becomes how do I continue to be respectful when I know that a person has deliberately been disrespectful and/or makes the conscience decision to ignore your feelings.  I am learning (everyday is a test) to not internalize the disrespect.  I believe that people are disrespectful because they themselves are hurting and do not know how to address their hurt.  This is not to say that you do not stand-up for yourself but there comes a time when you really have to pick your battles.

The picking of battles and not becoming consumed by the daily disrespect are realities I face everyday as I travel on this journey to become an urban educator. As I have done in the past, I will show respect with the hope that one day I will receive the respect that I have earned.